in our shoes

Saturday, July 21, 2007,12:00 AM

I went back to work Monday, July 16th 2007. Leaving my precious at home was a hard one. Harder than the 4 entry tests I had to take to get the job. After a gruelling week, i am now officially a Citibanker.

>>>and its just us.... and our shoes.>

Tuesday, July 10, 2007,11:26 PM

Although it simply breaks my heart to leave Naufal at home, I believe the time has arrived. Despite concerns from my MIL & my own mum, I am ready to go back to work.

Yes, Naufal & i are quite comfortable on hubs income w/o me having to go back into the workforce but being shopaholic me, i just like having my own stash of cash which i can spend it in any way i want w/o anyone undermining my spending decisions. Heh.

But i loathe the process of getting a job. The resume-sending, interviews after interviews, settling in the new environment. So leceh can! But come month end of each working period, the pockets get filled & thats the time to rejoice.

And i get to say, "Come Naufal, lets go shop!"

>>>and its just us.... and our shoes.>

Its been weeks since I last had a good, undisturbed sleep. Naufal usually wakes me up twice a nyte for milk & a change of diapers. Yet tonight, when he's sleeping in the living room with my parents, I am still unable to get my much needed forty winks. There's just so many what ifs.

"What if he wants milk?"

"What if he wants me to pat him to sleep after his dose of milk?"

"What if he senses i'm not anywhere near him?"

I know that my mum will take good care of him through the night yet I just am not settled enough to sleep.

Motherhood is just a weird thing. Its amazing how one's needs & one's wants contradicts.

Eg. I am yearning for a one on one date with hubs. Maybe a movie or just a dinner. Just us. I know I can count on my parents or my in laws to look after Naufal for a few hours but I just cant bear to leave him at home.

Or like the time I was down with high fever. My temperature ran up 39.7deg. My boobs were engorged and yet as self centered as I might be, instead of resting & focusing on getting better, I was more worried about Naufal. Worried that he might catch whatever I was having & true enough, he caught a flu & cough shortly after. I felt so guilty each time i had to put nose drops into his nostrils or feed him his cough syrup. It must have hurt his tiny body so much coughing & sneezing away.

Peculiar aint it?

I know i keep repeating this but Naufal is of utmost importance to me. Nothing else matters.

>>>and its just us.... and our shoes.>

the king of my heart<3

my naufal & me

naufal's very 1st haircut

>>>and its just us.... and our shoes.>

Its surprising how having your own child changes you. From a zero tolerant person to someone with the utmost patience.

I am not a patient person. My tolerance level is super low. Lower than most people. I cant stand kids wailing their butts off in public or testing the power of their lungs by shrieking away demanding their parents' attention. I simply cant stand such behaviour.

But having a child changes you, i guess. When Naufal whimpers to steal my attention, a slight delay & he'll just screams away. He'll scream when I take a long time to prepare his milk formula, or when i'm changing his diapers or he'll just simply wails out loud when he wants to be carried. Instead of losing it like i always do, i actually try to soothe him with all the patience i could gather. Being a hot tempered person by nature, trust me, this was no easy feat. Especially when this happens during the wee hours of the morning & his daddy is away at work on night shift. Its just another attempt to test my limits. But surprise, surprise, I have not lost it.

Naufal does bring out the best traits in me. Traits which I never knew existed in me.

I love my Naufal. And nothing ever beats a mother's love.

>>>and its just us.... and our shoes.>

Tuesday, July 03, 2007,8:04 AM

baby Naufal & mummy

>>>and its just us.... and our shoes.>

I apologize for not being able to update for quite awhile. Seems that motherhood has kept me a lill busy & yes, i'm still learning & enjoying every minute of it.

Back track to the past couple of weeks.............

Baby Naufal caught his first flu bug 3 weeks back & guess where he caught it from ??? Me! I was down with hgh fever. My temp ran up to 39.7 deg & although i did not carry him or sleep with him let alone breast feed him those three days, he still caught the flu & cough from me. Thus, we had to reschedule his Hep B jab.

Right after the 40 days confinement period, i took baby Naufal out to meet Auntie Su & Auntie Ais @ Tamp Mall. And he had his first trip to Orchard some time last week.

Baby Naufal will grow up to be like me. I honestly thinks he enjoys window shopping. He is very well behaved in public. No tantrums. Yet at home, putting him to sleep can be quite a challenge!

Baby Naufal has had his fair share of visitors. Besides the usual family members & relatives, friends like Namira, Rai, Aiza, Su, Ais, Nafisah, Ezrin has dropped by my place to visit Naufal. And he's enjoying every bit of the attention. Thanks guys for coming & all those lovely gifts you've presented to Naufal. Buat susah jek.

Btw, Naufal had his first haircut this afternoon. Will upload the pics in my next entry.

Much Love.

>>>and its just us.... and our shoes.>