Monday, February 12, 2007,6:39 PM
The last time i saw my grams was on Aidiladha. After that, I was pretty much occupied with my own life. So much so that when I heard that my grams was sick cos she missed me, I felt a pang of guilt.
I called her to ask how she was & this was pretty much the conversation....
"Nyai demam?" (Grams, u having a fever?)
"A ah, demam. Da seminggu. Nyai baru ingatkan Siti lepas tu talipon bunyi. Da lama Siti tak dtg. Nyai tak tahu perut da besar ke belum ke. Siti baik ke tak ke.." (Yah,I'm having a fever for about 1 week. I was just thinking of you when the phone rang. Its been a while since you last came. I was wondering if your tummy has grown bigger or whether you're doing fine)
"Siti ok." (I'm ok)
The conversation continued on till the topic on me giving birth. She said that since my mum was working & so was I, she would not mind looking after my baby. She still feel that she's strong to take care of one more baby. Upon hearing this, my tears just welled up. Never have I thought that she would actually offer to take care of my future precious due to her age & health condition. I was extremely touched.
Eversince I was a baby, I was not looked after by my parents but by my grandparents. She, especially had always been there to back me up when my parents got mad at me. She took upon herself to feed me & bathe me & love me. Wen I was 2-3 years of age & I returned to my parents, I still constantly slept over & she was the one who would get me ready for school, comb my unruly hair & walk me and my cousin to the school gates. Even now, adult as I am, she still kisses my cheeks each time she sees me. I have always had such a strong connection with her that I constantly shudder at the thought of losing her. So when she said that she missed me & that she was unwell really breaks my heart. I have neglected her for the past 2 months. Obssessed with my own life. I am sorry, nyai. I will visit you this week. I will.
Although I am not very good at expressing my thoughts & feelings in person, I really love you nyai. I really do. I hope you get well soon. I will be praying for your well-being....
>>>and its just us.... and our shoes.>
